I was not surprised and I already expected this. But when the word obese came out of the conversation, I was in denial. Overweight, no doubt about it, I would totally agree but obese...that may sound too much to take in.
I searched the dictionary for the meaning of the word, hoping to find some comfort that my weight circumstances was just in the norm. According to the Webster's, obese is having excessive body fat in a way that is unhealthy. Wow, that was just unbearable. This brought me back to the reality that my being obese was the direct result of having an unhealthy lifestyle. I never smoked all my life and it's been a long time since I had tasted alcohol.
The issue here, I figure, is how I would address my poor decision making process in terms of my diet. I love food and food has always been my go to outlet whenever I feel happy, stressed, and even depressed. Maybe most people would paint me as the typical emotional eater. What can I do? I just love food that much.
But the more that I reflect about it, the more I realize that the older I get the more difficult it is to maintain a youthful vitality and what is continuously happening to my weight was the product of all those buffet sessions, rice-all-you-can lunch outs, and midnight snack madness. Eating is good but it has to be in moderation like everything else.
In my case, being obese (even though it's hard to admit) leads me into that consciousness of checking my weight everyday, constantly reminding myself that diabetes and hypertension runs in the family and I need to do something to avoid going into that route.
Before, I find it funny when I see people compute for the the amount of calories on what's on their plate before deciding if they should take a bite or just completely skip that delectable gourmet. I find it weird when I dine with people who have adapted the dietary regimen of rabbits...eating only raw celery and carrot sticks without any dressing. Now, maybe I should consider checking and counter-checking the calorie count in every spoon that I put on my mouth. Maybe I should also start researching and exploring recipes that rodents would appreciate and incorporate into their system and try it myself.
It's been a long time since I had a 29-inch waist (currently, I'm stuck at 34). When you tip the scale and the needle would move a miniscule forward from your original measurement, even just a half mark of a pound or kilogram, it's just frustrating that you haven't put much effort into losing that extra pound or kilogram. Sometimes I feel that my self-esteem just drop when I can't fit into that pair of jeans or when I try my hardest to look good in a shirt but I simply just can't because my tummy is bulging out and others would even say that I have to wear a bra because my man-boobs are huge.
With all being said, I guess it all boils down to me being irresponsible, not having the discipline, and not being accountable enough to the choices that I made. I didn't take care of myself and my health was taken for granted, even put at risk. A moment on the lips becomes a lifetime on the hips. I just never learned the right way.
Good thing though, that the realization sink in. It's not yet late to make a change and changing isn't all about just losing weight, gaining muscles, or having a gorgeous body but making that solid commitment of having a better well-being today not tomorrow...but today.
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